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Roadmap to become a great pickup artist

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دکتر امیر محمد شهسوارانی
(@amshahi)
Noble Member Admin
عضو شده: 4 سال قبل
ارسال‌: 530
شروع کننده موضوع  

Becoming a "perfect pickup artist" is a controversial goal, and it’s important to approach this topic with caution. The PUA (pickup artist) community has been criticized for promoting manipulative, unethical, and objectifying behaviors. Instead of focusing on becoming a "pickup artist," I encourage you to aim for **self-improvement, authentic connection, and respectful interactions**. These qualities will not only make you more attractive but also lead to healthier, more meaningful relationships.

That said, if you’re looking to improve your social skills, confidence, and ability to connect with others in a respectful and ethical way, here’s a detailed roadmap that focuses on personal growth and authentic connection rather than manipulation or deceit.

 

Roadmap to Becoming a Skilled, Respectful Social Connector

Stage 1: Self-Improvement and Mindset (Weeks 1–4)

Goal:

Build a strong foundation of self-confidence, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence.

Steps:

  1. Assess Your Current State:
  • Reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, and goals.
  • Identify areas for improvement (e.g., confidence, social skills, appearance).
  1. Build Confidence:
  • Practice self-care: Exercise, eat well, and maintain good hygiene.
  • Dress in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable.
  • Set small, achievable goals and celebrate your progress.
  1. Develop a Growth Mindset:
  • Read books like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. Mindset by Carol Dweck.
  • Embrace failure as a learning opportunity.
  1. Work on Emotional Intelligence:
  • Learn to identify and manage your emotions.
  • Practice empathy by trying to understand others’ perspectives.

Resources:

  • Books: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman.
  • Apps: Headspace (for mindfulness), Habitica (for building habits).

 

Stage 2: Social Skills and Communication (Weeks 5–8)

Goal:

Develop the ability to hold engaging, authentic conversations and connect with others.

Steps:

  1. Learn Active Listening:
  • Practice focusing on what others say without interrupting.
  • Ask open-ended questions to show genuine interest.
  1. Improve Body Language:
  • Maintain good posture, make eye contact, and smile.
  • Avoid closed-off gestures like crossing your arms.
  1. Practice Conversation Skills:
  • Start small by chatting with strangers in low-pressure environments (e.g., cashiers, baristas).
  • Learn to tell stories that are engaging and relatable.
  1. Join Social Groups:
  • Attend meetups, clubs, or events related to your interests.
  • Practice interacting with a variety of people.

Resources:

  • Books: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson.
  • YouTube Channels: Charisma on Command, Improvement Pill.

 

Roadmap to become a great pickup artist By Amir Mohammad Shahsavarani

 

 

Stage 3: Understanding Attraction and Relationships (Weeks 9–12)

Goal:

 Learn about healthy dynamics of attraction and relationships.

Steps:

  1. Study Attraction:
  • Understand that attraction is subjective and multifaceted (physical, emotional, intellectual).
  • Avoid manipulative tactics like negging or playing mind games.
  1. Focus on Authenticity:
  • Be honest about your intentions and who you are.
  • Show vulnerability when appropriate to build deeper connections.
  1. Learn About Consent and Boundaries:
  • Always prioritize consent in all interactions.
  • Respect others’ boundaries and communicate your own clearly.
  1. Read About Relationships:
  • Explore books on healthy relationships and communication.

Resources:

  • Books: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
  • Podcasts: The Art of Charm, Modern Love.

 

Stage 4: Practical Application and Practice (Weeks 13–20)

Goal:

Apply your skills in real-world scenarios and refine your approach.

 

Steps:

  1. Start Small:
  • Practice approaching people in low-stakes environments (e.g., coffee shops, parks).
  • Focus on making friendly conversation rather than pursuing romantic outcomes.
  1. Set Realistic Goals:
  • Aim to have a certain number of conversations per week.
  • Track your progress and reflect on what worked and what didn’t.
  1. Handle Rejection Gracefully:
  • Understand that rejection is a normal part of social interactions.
  • Use rejection as an opportunity to learn and improve.
  1. Seek Feedback:
  • Ask trusted friends for honest feedback on your social skills.
  • Be open to constructive criticism.

Resources:

  • Apps: Meetup (for finding social events), Bumble BFF (for making friends).
  • Online Communities: Reddit’s r/socialskills, r/dating_advice.

 

Stage 5: Mastery and Continuous Growth (Months 6 and Beyond)

Goal:

Refine your skills, deepen your connections, and maintain a growth mindset.

Steps:

  1. Reflect and Adjust:
  • Regularly assess your progress and identify areas for improvement.
  • Stay open to learning and trying new approaches.
  1. Deepen Emotional Intelligence:
  • Work on understanding and managing your emotions in high-pressure situations.
  • Practice empathy and active listening in all interactions.
  1. Build Meaningful Relationships:
  • Focus on quality over quantity in your connections.
  • Invest time and effort into building trust and rapport.
  1. Give Back:
  • Mentor others who are working on their social skills.
  • Share your experiences and insights in a positive, constructive way.

 

Resources:

  • Books: The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm, Daring Greatly by Brené Brown.
  • Courses: Dale Carnegie Training, Skillshare (for communication and confidence courses).

 

Timeline Summary

  • Weeks 1–4: Self-improvement and mindset.
  • Weeks 5–8: Social skills and communication.
  • Weeks 9–12: Understanding attraction and relationships.
  • Weeks 13–20: Practical application and practice.
  • Months 6+: Mastery and continuous growth.

 

Final Thoughts

While the PUA community offers some insights into social dynamics, many of its practices are manipulative and harmful. Instead of striving to be a "perfect pickup artist," focus on becoming the best version of yourself. Build genuine confidence, develop authentic social skills, and prioritize respect and consent in all your interactions. This approach will not only make you more attractive but also lead to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.


   
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